I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
