My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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