I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
