OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
