I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
