actually, I'm a sock model
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
