my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
