Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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