I will die if light touches me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
