I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
