I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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