Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
