O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
