Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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