I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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