Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
