He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
