she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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