No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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