bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I could fuck to npr.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
