Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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