last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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