k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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