Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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