apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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