Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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