My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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