i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
