So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
