Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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