I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
