Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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