how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize