ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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