Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
