It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
