just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
