Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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