Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
sex in a hospital.. check
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
