Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
