i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
