stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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