wrigley field is MILF paradise
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
