Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
