If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
