laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sorry about my life...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
