Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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