He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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