dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
