So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
