I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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